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Like a duck on a June Bug
Momma T, Mope and Wail January 23, 2014 Ottawa— Holy jump up and down! A report of the most alarming nature has reached my ears. And since I wear High Performance hearing aids, you know this scandal is going to be quite magnanimous. Late last night, I received confirmation from an anonymous source that some canoodling across party lines has taken place. Now, of course at first I had my suspicions, as I’m sure many of you are right now. However, what I am about to report is going to blow you all away. Apparently, the Hon. Yaneric Bisaillon, Minister of Justice and Minister of Silly Walks, was seen leaving the Motel Haute Couture late Monday evening. Sources say he was followed 5 minutes later by none other than the Rt. Hon. Shane Mackenzie. In my 50 years of reporting, I have never seen such a controversial match! And to top it off, the former Prime Minister was seen walking quite absurdly, an act which the Hon. Minister is in charge of facilitating! Now, let us be perfectly frank. Reporting and discussing these types of fornications is not my particular bugaboo. And although I think both of these fine gents are as cool as the other side of the pillow, this scandal is just too much for an elderly lady such as myself to handle! A source close to the former Prime Minister claims that “they were trying to keep it under wraps for as long as they could. Their love has blossomed almost overnight, but the affair has been going on for many months.” MONTHS?? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, in my day, one could not even look at the other until the vows were said and even then, we always slept in different bedrooms. The question still remains: How did this ‘business’ begin? At first, a source close to the Hon. Minister claimed that it “just happened.” Poppycock. After further discussion, the truth was revealed. “The Hon. Minister ran into the Rt. Hon. Shane Mackenzie at a fundraising dinner in support of large fur coats. From there, they were unable to stop talking and learned they had one very important mutual interest: their love for Abercrombie and Fitch.” Who are these people, Abercrombie and Fitch? Are they involved in this affair as well? Good golly Miss Molly, this is getting out of hand. The real story in all of this, however, is their time together on the weekends. According to a source close to the former Prime Minister, the couple took many trips to both Toronto and Montreal, typically by plane. Not only did they charge it to the tax payer, they also flew in the Mile High Club, a special type of first class I’m assuming. Oh my land. This is quite the terrible way to begin, my dear SWAG friends. Why is the Rt. Hon. Erik Koskela not putting a stop to this unethical spending of funds? I foresee some messy Question Periods in your future, my dear. Stay ethical, me duckies.